Hello. Dr. Anthony here. So, what is Room 12. Well, back in 1982 or 1983 when I was in middle school, Room 12 was referred to as the resource room or the remedial room and a lot of the kids called it the retard room. It was the place they put kids who were not keeping up with the average or above average students. If you were falling below par academically on the standard achievement test or with grades, that’s where they sent you.
At the time, it was pretty embarrassing because there were kids of all different levels, many who were way below the average and there was a stigma to that room. I didn’t learn a damn thing in there. It wasn’t really much of a help. For me, it was a stigma that lasted over 40 years of my life.
I saw myself as slow, stupid, retarded in certain areas, and always behind. When you come from that space, especially around middle school when you start going through changes and you’re really trying to discover who you are that’s separate from your parents; when your peers are referring to this particular room as the retard room, it makes you look at who am I? What am I? Am I going to be struggling for the rest of my life?
I did struggle for a large majority of my life because I felt dumb. I couldn’t keep up in school and a lot of it was that I was completely disinterested. They labeled me with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. I was hyper as hell. I was the kid in the back of the room whose leg was going a million miles per hour. If the teacher was on question 1 on the front board, somehow within a flash of a second she was suddenly on question 20. I was like, how’d you get from 1 to 20 like that. I was daydreaming thinking about sports, girls, you name it.
Room 12 was such a stigma to me that I used to wait for the bell to ring and wait for everybody to go into their classroom before I would go in so that nobody would see me. For years and years I looked at myself as slow and incapable. I bought the point of view that I was going to struggle and I did struggle.
When I went to college, I basically fought to prove the system wrong. I made a lot of choices I probably wouldn’t have made because I didn’t work with my hands in terms of technical or mechanical skills. I never even knew how to change a flat tire so I was like, what the hell am I going to do when I graduate highschool?
I was lost. Everybody else was going to college. There was no way I was going to go to college. I didn’t get good grades on the SAT’s, which were the benchmarks that you needed to utilize to get into a decent college. I decided to go to community college and my point of view was I’m gonna show them. For 20, 30, 40 years I fought to look smart while feeling dumb.
It’s like, my brain and my awareness was always everywhere - everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. What was fun for me was to move my body around and play sports. It wasn’t until Access Consciousness came along that things started to change. The tools are designed to get you to actually look at whatever you’ve deemed as your wrongness as a strongness.
The founders of Access Consciousness, Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer, have created a specialty class called X-Men , just like the movie with the different mutants that had special powers. What if whatever you’ve decided was a handicap and whatever you decided was this stronghold that couldn’t get you to create the life that you’d like to have because you felt somehow that you were less than or dumber than - what if that was actually a capacity, a gift, a power, a contribution?
For the first time in my life, even as a chiropractor, even though I was great with my hands, I didn’t feel like I had the space to be all of me. Access Consciousness showed me that this ADD, ADHD, OCD, Autism, they’re actually capacities that don’t necessarily get acknowledged in this reality. They certainly don’t get acknowledged in the traditional school system. I know that schools have come a long, long way in terms of implementing programs for kids like us, I mean, I’m a man, not a kid anymore but I can still feel it. When I get going and talking about it you can perceive the stigma.
I spent my whole life fighting against it to prove the system wrong while losing myself in the whole equation. Now I get to dive into this world of energetic possibilities and do energy work as a healer and facilitate and empower people to see the greatness in themselves with the tools. It was the first time in my life that these x-men capacities actually worked to my advantage. It didn’t feel wrong or like I had to go from being way out to forcing myself to get small like I did when I was in school.
It’s not an easy topic. People think I’m great because I’m a doctor. Yeah, but I had to work my ass off more than the average person because I had the point of view that I wasn’t even average. I’ve slowly gotten over that point of view as I’ve been able to utilize my gifts with the tools of Access Consciousness. I’m so grateful and blessed on so many different levels.
What if these capacities are a strongness and not a wrongness? How can you use them to your advantage? Many people already are but for me, it wasn’t until I got to Access that I was able to be all of me and function in all of those energies that I used to be when I was a kid but they tried to stifle me and put me in a box. Calm down. Focus they said. I was like, I don’t wanna focus. I just wanna play and have fun. Focusing sucks. It hurts.
X-men classes are coming up. It’s not really about whether you’ve been diagnosed. It’s about discovering you. Discovering how you learn, how you receive information and how you are aware a lot more than you give yourself credit for. Nobody taught you how to use it but now there’s a platform. Now there’s a foundation in which you can take these capacities of yours that in many circles have been made to be a handicap but they’re not. They’re a gift that you can use now.
What would it take for you to acknowledge the gift that you are?
What is your room 12? What is the person, place, thing, or energy that you’ve decided can stop you and concluded is wrong with you?
Don’t make your wrongness a wrongness anymore. It’s time for you to be you. It’s time to recognize your capacities, your potencies, your powers, your gifts, and just have fun and not have to fight against that stigma ever again.
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